A budding mechanic

 
A court in India

Judge to Accused - Tell me your story

Sir, I was sitting in bus I take out photo

Photo fall under ladies saree

So I tell lady, please lift saree so I can take photo

 

Man goes with his  secretary for daytime affair.

Suddenly realises time. On his way home he stops off at and deliberately  stains his shoes with mud and grass.

Back home his wife notices shoes and asks where have you been ?

Making love to my secretary, he says

You lying bastard, she says, you've been playing Golf !

____________________________________________________________

 A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but
 always talked about having a son.
They  decided to try one last time
for the  son they always wanted.
The wife  got pregnant and
 delivered a healthy baby boy.*

The  joyful father rushed to the nursery
He  saw his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child the had ever seen.

He told  his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the  father of this baby.



Look at the two beautiful daughters I
 fathered! Have  you been fooling around behind my
 back?' The  wife smiled sweetly and replied:

Not  this time!'

_________________________________________-

Frank was dying.  His wife sat at
the bedside..He looked up and said weakly:

I have something I must confess. there's no need to, 'his wife
 replied.

'No,' he  insisted, 'I want to die in  peace.

I slept with your sisters, your best friend,

their best friends,

I know,' she  replied,
 just rest and let the poison work.

 

KIDS IN CHURCH

                                                                                  3-year-old Reese:

'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,

Harold is His name.

Amen.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying:

'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm having a real good time like I am.'

Grandmas DON'T Know Everything

 
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called  sexual intercourse,  darling..'

Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse.   It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you!'

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

inspire

 

more



 

______________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

TELL A FRIEND, get a free ebook


 
Your Name:

Your E-mail:
Friend's E-mail:
Comments:

Tell a Friend Form Version 3

'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they

wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're

going to feel all day. '

~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,

smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'

~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?    I think not.'

~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 


 

- -

Here are some X-rated riddles:
 



Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A .. They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to send this on to somebody

Live well, laugh hard, & love deeply!!!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 



 

 

 

 

www.boxone.us/humor/more.htm